I Just Want

I just want to sit in a coffee shop and have a latte with decadent foam and a muffin without getting ridiculous heart burn. I just want to eat jalapeno chips again, and eggs benedict, and sandwiches, and spicy sauces. I just want to be able to walk more than 2 blocks without feeling like hiring 3 sherpas to carry me. I want to feel that space in between my thighs again, and to stand up after going pee {and thoroughly wiping} and not feel pee dripping down my leg. I just want to feel my body move the way it did a year ago. To run, to do a handstand, to lay on my back, to lay on my stomach. I {strangely} just want to do dishes without getting swollen ankles. I want to be able to lift something that is more than 20 lbs and not feel like my uterus is detaching from my abdomen, and for that matter, I just want to feel my ab muscles again. I want to sneeze or cough without squeezing every part of my body as tightly as possible. I want to be able to breath, and sing, and feel what it's like to not be constantly congested. I want to do hot yoga until I feel like dying of heat stroke. I just want to ride my bike and to sit on the lawn without counting the minutes till I can lie in bed. I want to roll over in bed without feeling like I might tear something. I just want to drink margaritas, and bloody mary's, and wine. I want to go out with Isaac and get giggly and ridiculous over a few beers - but I guess that's why I am just wanting things now... I just want to be able to put my sandals on without assistance. I just want to have clear skin again and to be able to brush my teeth without throwing up.

Most of all though, I just want a healthy and happy baby in my arms. So I can just wait.