Desire has been on my mind a lot lately; watching some desires fade away and some grow stronger within me. It's interesting to feel the ebb and flow. Sometimes it's incredibly uncomfortable and sometimes it's peaceful and freeing. My identification with the things I desire, in many ways, seems to be evaporating.
I often find myself trying to prove my worth - prove that I am "good enough", the best, impressive... However, the desire to become something, or be someone, is loosing it's worth. This isn't always easy or comfortable. My fantasies about the future are constantly playing in my head; but it's when I get wrapped up in those fantasies, that fear creeps in. I start to feel anxious about what lies ahead and unable to give myself freely and joyfully to the moment. When I remain aware and watch the stories playing out in my head instead of becoming involved in them, I am at peace.
Rumi writes:
A strange passion is moving in my head.
My heart has become a bird
Which searches in the sky.
Every part of me goes in different directions.
Is it really so
That the one I love is everywhere?
Really well said :)
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